Little Dick

I was born with a famous name. It wasn’t famous when I was born, but, oh, did it become famous. It wasn’t associated with a famous athlete or a musician. I would have even settled for a scientist, but alas that was not my destiny. My name…is…Richard Simmons. Yup. Richard Simmons. Just like that guy you used to see on TV. Can you imagine? We are total opposites. He’s short, I’m tall. He’s white, I’m black. He wears really short shorts, I wear clothes like a normal person. What’s worse? I’m a junior. You know what’s even worse than that? My dad was a physical education instructor. Try getting around those jokes. I’ve visited my dad when he was teaching and he was not a gym teacher. He t

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